7 secrets of the Alpha Female

Alpha Female

7 secrets of the Alpha Female


Alpha Female: A woman who embraces her ambitions. She is talented, highly motivated, and self-confident. Female alphas embrace their confidence which helps them lead, motivate and encourage others.

There are many ways in which to embrace and indeed to discover, your inner Alpha Female, here are my top 7 secrets:

  1. Be authentic

I get the feeling that real authenticity has taken a bit of a dip in recent years. Maybe too much fakery on social media, in the press and on TV. Women are set ridiculous and unobtainable images of how we should look, feel and behave. In a world where “fitting in” seems to be the new normal, originality can be a little intimidating.

  • It’s not what you say, but how you say it. Stand up for what you believe in without getting in other people’s faces about it and pushing your opinion. Just be strong.
  • Be prepared to go against the grain
  • Speak out when you see injustice
  • Set your boundaries, personal code of ethics and values and stand by them
  • Don’t be a crowd pleaser. Be a leader, not a follower
  • Celebrate your uniqueness and express yourself in a way that makes you feel good and doesn’t intimidate others
  1. Celebrate the success of others

When you enjoy the success of others, you increase the likelihood of your own success. Words are very often enough, but your words must be genuine. Saying “well done” through barred teeth just won’t do. Not only will you come across as jealous or mean, but your energy will be negative and thus your sparkle dimmed!

  • Speak it! “Congratulations on your….”
  • Post about it
  • Buy the person a gift
  • Send flowers or card
  • Be the person you would like to have on your side when you have a win!
  1. Voice your opinion

As an alpha female myself, I’m not afraid to speak as I find. Forever mindful not to hurt someone else, I still have an opinion, and for me, my opinion has value. Now I have to say, I cannot bear the phrase “speaking my truth”, a phrase popularised by certain couple whose truths are seemingly unrelated to fact. That said, I believe we have the right to speak freely without meaning to offend.

  • When voicing your opinion don’t point fingers
  • Don’t raise your voice
  • Be clear
  • Be mindful of your body language
  • Stay calm
  • Stay classy
  • Choose the right time and the appropriate place
  • Be able to substantiate your opinion while respecting others who may not agree
  • Know when to close
  1. Show your emotions

It’s empowering to show your emotions… without going full-on drama

  • Prefix your statements with “I feel…” rather than telling someone how they made you feel
  • Express what you want rather than what you don’t want
  • Don’t assume you will get a negative response
  • Listen as well as talk
  • Stay committed to your feelings even when it gets difficult
  1. Be confident

A confident woman is not intimidating, there is no need to prove yourself to anyone (other than yourself)

  • Don’t be a people pleaser
  • Address negative self-talk
  • Detach from toxic relationships
  • Practice self-compassion – in other words be your own best friend
  • Practice mindfulness and mediation
  • Be prepared to do the self-work
  1. Be independent

How good it feels to be independent! Never needing or relying on anyone other than yourself!

  • Practice those things you admire in others
  • Create your own safe haven. Your sanctuary. At home, in the garden, out in nature, or in your own mind while in mediation or relaxing.
  • Keep growing, learning, developing and open to change
  • Travel alone from time to time (if possible)
  • Know your own mind, stick to your rules and your boundaries
  • Delete negative self-talk
  • Do not be judgemental. Being judgemental can be a mirror to your own inadequacies and can have a negative impact on your mental and emotional wellbeing
  • Never lose control of your life, your goals, your dreams or aspirations


  1. Wake up, kick ass, be kind, repeat

Kind, strong women know that everyone is trying to do and be the best they can. They practice self-respect and have respect and compassion for others.

  • Don’t take things personally
  • Observe, don’t judge
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Use difficult times as lessons and difficult people as teachers
  • Own your own actions
  • Communicate your thoughts and feelings respectfully
  • Forgive


Gail Marra is a renowned Harley Street Clinical Hypnotherapist, Psychotherapist, Mindset Coach and Author of the best-selling book “Health Wealth & Hypnosis – The Way To A Beautiful Life.”

As a member of the National Council for Hypnotherapy, the British Society of Clinical Hypnosis and the Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council, Gail takes a ‘solution focused’ approach to therapy using methods such as EFT, EMDR, CBT, Psychotherapy and of course, Clinical Hypnosis.

Gail helps clients of all ages and from all areas of life to define, reframe, and overcome a variety of psychological, emotional and physical challenges by utilising the power of their subconscious mind to effect positive change.



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