To say nurturing our children’s mental health and well-being is crucial would be an understatement. Children are the future. Period. There is no arguing that.
It’s said that during the first 7 years of life, a child is in a similar state to hypnosis. They are literally downloading information from their environment, being programmed from many sources, specifically family.Â
If you have ever seen the movie The Matrix you can probably visualise what the continual download might look like. Here are 10 tips for your child’s mental health, making sure the download is bug and virus free.
1.Be a mindful role model
The bottom line. Children learn by watching their parents or primary caregivers. You are your child’s first point of reference. Through you they learn how to behave, respond, talk, socialise and cope with life. How you are as a parent demonstrates to them how to be. Be a mindful role model.
2. Sleep
Developing healthy sleep patterns are essential to mental and physical health. While children sleep the growth hormone (HGH) gets busy building healthy body fat, strong bones and muscles. HGH is released by the brain into the bloodstream during sleep and is part of our repair and restoration function. Lack of sleep inhibits the growth hormone and can cause problems over time like obesity, asthma, ear infections and allergies. Insufficient sleep can result in poor concentration, irritability, anger outbursts and short attention spans.
Create a happy and secure environment for your child at bedtime. Establish a routine. Believe it or not children respond well to routine. Get your child ready for bed in good time for sleep, perhaps read a story, talk about their day, and think of things they can to look forward to the next day.
3. Play
How children play has changed quite a bit over the years with the surge of home computer games. Sedentary lifestyles have led to an increase in isolation, social anxiety, obesity, self-harm, cyber bullying and more. Now I’m not suggesting we put the brakes on technology all together, but limiting time spent on gaming and encouraging your child to use their imagination, to socialise and to exercise makes sense wouldn’t you agree?
4. Talk and LISTEN
Children love to chatter. As a mother I know only too well that the constant chatter can drive you to distraction but setting aside time every day to talk and to actively listen to your child will strengthen the bond between you, It will help them to develop trust, build self-confidence and develop communication skills. Talking and listening intently to what your child has to say paves the way for them to talk openly about their feelings and any issues that may be bubbling away under the surface. This is a wonderful way to help improve children’s mental health.
5. Eat
Everyone know the importance of a healthy diet. Especially in the early years of development. As a working mum with young children I know that there is often insufficient hours in the day to produce 3 made-from-scratch meals a day. I also know how important it is for children to feel part of their tribe, their peer group and so going to McDonald’s or out for a pizza is a rite of passage but these things should be treats not food staples.
God only know what goes into much of the pre-packed processed foods on our shelves today and so it’s in the best interest of everyone to be mindful (there’s that lovely word again) of the food we buy, the food we prepare and serve and the food we order while eating out.
The food we eat affects brain function. Consider the brain as an expensive car. You would probably think twice about putting cooking oil laden with saturated fat, salt and sugar into the tank because a beautiful car functions best on premium fuel. Eating foods that contain plenty of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants nourishes the brain and protects it from free radicals. Fed this premium fuel means your car’s engine will purr like a kitten (or roar like a tiger!) long into the future.
Quick note: It takes 25-30 minutes to cook chicken nuggets from frozen, yet it takes less than 10 minutes to cook a piece of fish, steam some veg and no time at all the dish up a bowl of fruit. #fastfood
6. Self-care
We all know the importance of brushing our teeth and keeping our hair, face and body clean. Kids have to learn how to blow their noses to keep it from running down their face, keep their hands clean, get dressed and undressed and keep their room tidy. These things teach children how to be independent and self-aware, but there is more than meets the eye when it comes to self-care. Self-care is also about well-being, happiness and self-love! Letting our children know that they are loved means they learn to love themselves. Letting them know they are appreciated, valued and important embeds in them a sense of pride and self-confidence.
7. Choices and opinions
Allowing children to have a say and an opinion on everything would of course be asking for trouble, but allowing your child to express their opinions, validating their opinions and guiding them to make good choices is what I’m referring to here. Validating your child’s feelings makes them feel understood without being judged or constantly corrected. Simply acknowledging their feelings and thoughts on a subject encourages openness and self-confidence.
8. Friendships / relationships
It’s not always possible or convenient to schedule lots of playdates or have family gatherings on a regular basis but encouraging healthy friendships and relationships are vital to your child’s psychological development. Friendships teach children social and emotional skills as well as increase their sense of belonging. Children with a sense of belonging feel supported and valued and more able to cope with issues like divorce, moving home or going to a new school. Through having healthy relationships children will learn empathy and sympathy, how to be recognise and be sensitive to the feelings of others, they learn the rules of conversation and age-appropriate behaviour.
9. Relaxation
Ahhhh… relaxation… my forte. I work with a great many wonderful children and young people and one of the first things we do in therapy is learn to relax. Not the flopping out on the sofa with a bag of crisps in front of the tele kind of relaxation but deep, focused, purposeful relaxation. And you don’t have to be a clinical hypnotherapist to teach your child how to relax and the good news is, if you practice the following you’ll benefit too!
If your child is stressed, anxious, grumpy or sad show them how to release the brains natural feel good chemicals. Endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, otherwise known as the happy chemical quartet.
Deep breathing and counting is all it takes. What could be easier?
Sit or lay back and imagine that your lungs are two big shiny balloons that you can inflate and deflate just by thinking about them. Breathe all the way into your tummy. Make the breaths big and slow and deep. Count slowly to 7 as you breathe in and even slower to 11 as you breathe out. Have fun trying to control your breath, always making the out breath longer than the in breath, this is key. This breathing technique is incredibly powerful and has been used for thousands of years to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system – our ‘rest and digest’ response.
An added bonus is that the very act of focused breathing and counting serves as an distraction taking the mind off of any immediate worries or concerns.
10. Therapy
For any parent taking your child into therapy can throw up a whole host of feelings thoughts and emotions.
If your child is feeling physically unwell, you’ve done all you can do at home yet they are not getting any better, you take them to see a doctor. If your child’s emotional well-being needs attention and you’ve exhausted everything you can think of to help them at home, you can take them to see a therapist to improve your child’s mental health.
In therapy children can learn how to work out their problems for themselves, they learn to understand their emotions and how to self-sooth, helping them cope better, communicate better, and do better overall.
These are just 10 ways in which to help improve your child’s mental health, helping them to become the best they can be.Â
Happy parenting!
